Yesterday was a sad day for me. The date was December 9, 2009, five years from the date I lost my husband and best friend. Then in the afternoon I was told his mother had died. I was overwhelmed.
I am trying to look at things in a positive way but it is hard. I have had to struggle with my feelings about his mother for the five years my husband has been gone. I don't think she was treated with the respect she deserved. I felt so powerless to do anything about it. I suppose God will take care of all of those things. I wish I could have gone to church last night like I had planned but I didn't think I could hold myself together.
I suppose there's no real good way to die but I wish Mom could have had people around her when she left this world. I don't think anyone should die alone. I know she will be okay now so I guess the worrying and hurt are over. It will be a time of healing for a while and I have some work to do on myself. I must learn to forgive and I am not at a place right now to be able to do that, however I hope the day will not be so far away when I will be able to put the past in the past and look ahead. Goodness knows, I am far from perfect myself.
I do know all of this has taught me something valuable. Speak kindly of everyone or say nothing at all. I must treat others as I would want to be treated, and I must think before I speak.
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Forgiving is not easy. I am glad you are trying to look at things in a positive way. I have thought a lot about the kind woman I talked to that was there rubbing her shoulder when Go Go died. That is the evidence of good in people.
ReplyDeleteDear Sista Mama, Sandy. I am so sorry for your loss. There is so much good...and love in you...I know that for sure as I have experienced both from you...many, many, many, many times. And for that, I am grateful. I can't wait to see you so I can give you great, big hug.
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Aud